• Ryan McRostie

UK Expands Virus Testing To Include Anyone With An Orifice.


Some corona virus test stations are offering a complete body check.

For months now in the UK many had wondered "have I had the virus", and "am I currently infected". But new guidance from the government today said "that anyone with a hole in their body could receive a test".


"It's wonderful news", said one lady," I hope they can test each orifice, just to be "sure! Testing is usually taken from the nose or back of the throat, leading to concern by some that they may be infected in an area more "exotic".


Testing stations are normally carried out in cars and the person wishing to be tested drives through the testing station. "We don't have a problem with testing any hole a person wants", said one nurse, "but if people think this is something kinky they need to think again".


Virus testing stations are located in most boroughs around the country.

Like what you read?

Donate now and help me keep writing my spoof and satire news articles.  

SUBSCRIBE to our mailing list for latest news.

© 2020 by Hotwire News. Designed by Fiverr.com/itapiex