• Ryan McRostie

Trump Suggests "Grabbing Virus By The Pussy"!


It's unsure at this stage just where the viruses pussy is located.

In a conference held yesterday, the President of the United States has suggested that the coronavirus be grabbed by the vagina. "I do it all the time", said Mr Trump, "viruses let you do that when you're rich and famous"!


Mr Trump also explained as on many other occasions that he "wasn't a medical doctor". When reporters asked him if he was a doctor of any kind he answered, "I'm a doctor of the universe"!


Scientists are yet to discover the viruses sex so are unsure whether grabbing it by the pussy is an option. Steve Stern from the University of Flyover State told us, "it's very difficult at this stage to tell whether the virus is a boy or a girl, so we don't know if it's even pink or blue".


Nanoscientists around the country are working on microscopic robots with a firm grip to carry out the molestation.

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