- Ryan McRostie
Scientists Working Destperately To Find Cure For A Hangover.

With the world gripped by the coronavirus pandemic, one team of scientists is working day and night to find a cure of a condition equally as menacing, the common hangover. With most of the population not having to go into work, hangovers have reached levels not seen since the 1800s.
“I’m working from home, so there’s no meetings to go to”, said Wayne Dwyer, “I may as well get shitfaced”! One cure for a hangover sworn to be effective my many an alcoholic is to “stay drunk”, an option recommended by Stacey Whitehead of the University of Jack Daniels.
‘With so much funding pouring into finding a vaccine for COVID-19 there’s not much left for people to donate to so-called self-inflicted conditions”, said one young scientist while doing a jager-bomb.
People wishing to donate to help find the cure for a hangover are asked call 1800-SHITFACED and speak with one of our half cut operators.