- Ryan McRostie
Richard Branson Offers To Let Everyone Punch Him In The Face.

In a stunning development Tuesday, Sir Richard Branson has offered to let everyone in the UK punch him in the face to save his embattled airline. “I know I’ve had it coming for a very long time”, said the billionaire, “but I’m prepared to let everyone do what they’ve wanted to do to me after I sued the NHS”! Some have jumped at the chance with many local boxing clubs agreeing to start off the challenge. “We’d be happy to be at the forefront of the punchathon”, said one ranked professional. But some argue that a single punch doesn’t represent good enough value for the taxpayer. “One punch seems a bit light for all those years of cheesy prat smiles”, said Irene Bulter of Southport, “I hope all those young lasses’s he’s made parade around him get their shot too”! If agreed the event will start at the end of the lockdown where great masses of people are expected to attend.