• Ryan McRostie

People Allowed To Jog To Funerals.



With the record amount of deaths caused by the Coronavirus, the health secretary has permitted people to exercise to and from any funerals they wish to attend. “We are slightly confused that people have taken this moment to take up exercise for the first time in their lives, but we’re also happy! People will be able to attend a funeral and jog around the coffin to say their last goodbyes”. The move comes as a record number of people have decided to take up jogging. We never knew the park was here until a few weeks ago”, said Janet Davies, “but with the lockdown on we’ve really started to get outside and explore the local area. Meeting our neighbours for the first time has also been great”! Exercise UK said subscriptions to its jogging app have been at it’s highest rate ever. “We’ve seen a three thousand times increase in the number of downloads of our tracking software”, according to the exercise body, “the find a friend feature is also really popular”. An end to the lockdown is yet to be confirmed.

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