• Ryan McRostie

Man Seen Walking On Water During Lockdown.

A robed man has been arrested after taking a stroll on a lake during the nationwide lockdown. Metropolitan Police attended the scene after complaints by joggers that the man was clearly not exercising. "He was just moseying around", said one man, "standing on the water when he should be isolating at home". Other members of the public took matters into their own hands and swam out to the man. "I swam out to him and asked him what the hell he thought he was at", said Margaret Knight of East London.

Police have made many arrests over the bank holiday weekend. "We ask that people obey the government's guidelines and stay indoors in their primary residence. This idiot walking on water makes a total mockery of what the chief scientists in the UK are trying to achieve", said Chief Inspector Authur Roseknob. The man has been sectioned under the mental health act and banned from London parks for thirty days.

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