• Ryan McRostie

Holy Communion To Include Nachos.

Many followers are in favour of the new dish representing Jesus' body.

With the numbers of attendees worldwide shrinking for decades, the Catholic Church has come up with a new way to attract followers.

“We were having a brainstorming session at the Vatican one day”, said a senior inside source, “and that’s when I came up with serving nachos instead of bread”. The results have been profound, with attendee numbers up across the globe.

“We love the spicy dips and melted cheese we get instead of the old stuff”, said one parishioner, “I used to feed the Jesus bread circles to my cat”.

Other ideas on the Churches radar include Bibles with random pages replaced with naked people, rap hymns, and wife swapping.

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