Ryan McRostieJul 2, 20201 minPolice Car Carrying Ghislaine Maxwell Explodes In Attempted Suicide.The unmarked car carrying alleged sexual trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell has exploded in an apparent attempt to take her own life. “She must...
Ryan McRostieJun 17, 20201 minTortoise That Saved Species Displayed Traits Of Toxic Masculinity.A “hero” tortoise that saved his species has been accused of doing so with toxic male traits. Diego, dubbed the saviour of the tortoises ...
Ryan McRostieJun 1, 20201 minUN To Tackle Worldwide Horniness.Dramatic scenes today as the leader of the UN António Guterres addressed the assembly in Geneva. "We have tackled the coronavirus, and we...
Ryan McRostieMay 19, 20201 minPassive Aggressive Tiger Spread Rumours About Other Big Cats.I n Ontario State Zoo something is up in the big cat community. Zookeepers started reporting that many of the zoos larger felines were de...
Ryan McRostieMay 14, 20201 minDoomed Warrior Wondered If He’d Had His Booster Shot For Tetanus.A warrior about to be killed by Ghengis Khan's henchman has realised he hadn’t been in for his booster shots. “They’d surrounded me”, sai...
Ryan McRostieMay 12, 20201 minMonastery Release Ancient Missing Sections Of The Hockey Pockey.A Monastery in southern France has today released ancient and previously unknown pieces of one of the worlds oldest dancing rituals. The ...
Ryan McRostieMay 8, 20201 minAmericans Fight For Their Right To Keep Murder Hornets As Pets.Protesters in the US have demonstrated, demanding their constitutional right to keep murder hornets in their homes. “It’s my right as an ...
Ryan McRostieMay 5, 20201 minRichard Branson Offers To Let Everyone Punch Him In The Face.In a stunning development Tuesday, Sir Richard Branson has offered to let everyone in the UK punch him in the face to save his embattled...
Ryan McRostieApr 28, 20201 minScientists Working Destperately To Find Cure For A Hangover.With the world gripped by the coronavirus pandemic, one team of scientists is working day and night to find a cure of a condition equally...
Ryan McRostieApr 26, 20201 minRoyal Family Running Dangererously Low On Butlers.In a statement released by The House of Windsor, it's been revealed that the many Royals are running low on hired help. "It's an astonish...
Ryan McRostieApr 25, 20201 minDads Start Doing Weird Stretches Around The House.Families around the country are reporting that after an extended time hanging out with each other that Dads have started to do strange new...
Ryan McRostieApr 24, 20201 minTrump Suggests "Grabbing Virus By The Pussy"!In a conference held yesterday, the President of the United States has suggested that the coronavirus be grabbed by the vagina. "I do it ...
Ryan McRostieApr 24, 20201 minTrump: Shooting Yourself In The Head Could Cure Virus!He's one of the greatest real estate investors of all time, according to himself; now this confidence has led to the President weighing i...
Ryan McRostieApr 20, 20201 minChina Launches First Kentucky Fried Cat. Fresh off the back of the coronavirus scandal China has launched its first franchise of Kentucky Fried Cat. “We think it will be very pop...
Ryan McRostieApr 15, 20201 minTrump Closes Border With Narnia.President Trump has announced that access to and from all fantasy worlds will cease with immediate effect. "It's important that coronavir...
Ryan McRostieJan 4, 20201 minIran’s supreme leader predicted attack saying “Aya-told-ya”!Iran is still in shock today as the nation comes to terms with the shocking assassination of its most senior military figure. One man who...
Ryan McRostieFeb 6, 20191 minJeff Bezos Gives Conflicting Accounts On Size Of Cock.He’s the king of online shopping, but in recent interviews, Jeff Bezos has given completely conflicting accounts when with regards to the...
Ryan McRostieDec 29, 20181 minSelf Immoliating Monk Was Sitting Too Close To Heater.A monk who set himself on fire sparking a wave of support from around the world has admitted he was just sitting too close to his heater....
Ryan McRostieDec 1, 20181 minAdopt A Snow Leopard Program Ends In Tragedy.A lovely suburban family participating in the adopt a snow leopard program has ended in a bloodbath after the wild animal went on a rampa...
Ryan McRostieNov 27, 20181 minMercedes Release New Green Emission Model Powered Entirely By Owners Sense Of Self Entitlement.Often accused of lagging behind in the battle to be green Mercedes Benz has introduced a new range of vehicles that produce zero emission...