Ryan McRostieJul 2, 20201 minPolice Car Carrying Ghislaine Maxwell Explodes In Attempted Suicide.The unmarked car carrying alleged sexual trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell has exploded in an apparent attempt to take her own life. “She must...
Ryan McRostieJun 27, 20201 minVegan Asks Boss: "Can I Be Paid In Lettuce"?A vegan has won the right in the Court Of Arbitration for his boss to remunerate him in vegetables. "I don't want to be part of the evil ...
Ryan McRostieJun 25, 20201 minUK To Reopen Crack Dens.Prime Minister Boris Johnson has implemented a plan to get the nations crack dens open for business within the next few weeks. In a state...
Ryan McRostieJun 17, 20201 minTortoise That Saved Species Displayed Traits Of Toxic Masculinity.A “hero” tortoise that saved his species has been accused of doing so with toxic male traits. Diego, dubbed the saviour of the tortoises ...
Ryan McRostieJun 16, 20201 minRecipient Of Leg Transplant Says "New Foot Is Too Hairy"!A recipient of a leg transplant has complained to doctors who carried out the procedure regarding the hairiness of the new limb. "I wante...
Ryan McRostieJun 13, 20201 minFlashing Light Admits "Life Was Better In The Eighties"!A flashing light that has been part of the nightlife in London for decades says, “nothing will compare to the discos we had back in the d...
Ryan McRostieJun 11, 20201 minStreet Performer Thrown Into River.A street performer has been thrown into the Thames after protesters mistook him for a statue. Statues across the UK are being targeted fo...
Ryan McRostieJun 9, 20201 minSeven Inexpensive Ways To Decorate Your Testes.With the lockdown approaching its fourth month, people are bored. They’ve played all the video games, they’ve heard all the podcasts. But...
Ryan McRostieJun 1, 20201 minUN To Tackle Worldwide Horniness.Dramatic scenes today as the leader of the UN António Guterres addressed the assembly in Geneva. "We have tackled the coronavirus, and we...
Ryan McRostieMay 27, 20201 minJeffrey Epstein's Cause Of Death Changed To COVID-19.Jeffrey Epstein's official cause of death has been changed by the coroner to "complications stemming from COVID-19". This comes after man...
Ryan McRostieMay 22, 20201 minCows Branded So Bull Knew Which Ones Had Herpes.Cowboys in the Mohave Desert have branded cows so that bulls in the area know which ones have sexually transmitted diseases. "I kind of f...
Ryan McRostieMay 20, 20201 minStreet Praying Neighbour Puts Top Back On.With the weather in the UK warming up one street full of residence on lockdown is hoping one of its residents keeps his top on. "I don't ...
Ryan McRostieMay 19, 20201 minPassive Aggressive Tiger Spread Rumours About Other Big Cats.I n Ontario State Zoo something is up in the big cat community. Zookeepers started reporting that many of the zoos larger felines were de...
Ryan McRostieMay 18, 20201 minUK Expands Virus Testing To Include Anyone With An Orifice.For months now in the UK many had wondered "have I had the virus", and "am I currently infected". But new guidance from the government to...
Ryan McRostieMay 16, 20201 minPrimordial Soup Had Hint Of Oregano.The place where all life is thought to have originated, the primordial soup, is believed to have contained one ingredient never thought t...
Ryan McRostieMay 12, 20201 minMonastery Release Ancient Missing Sections Of The Hockey Pockey.A Monastery in southern France has today released ancient and previously unknown pieces of one of the worlds oldest dancing rituals. The ...
Ryan McRostieMay 8, 20201 minAmericans Fight For Their Right To Keep Murder Hornets As Pets.Protesters in the US have demonstrated, demanding their constitutional right to keep murder hornets in their homes. “It’s my right as an ...
Ryan McRostieMay 8, 20201 minMan Starts GoFundMe Page To Help With Cost Of Hayfever.A local man suffering hay fever has asked people to make donations to his GoFundMe page to help him cover the costs of treatment. "It imp...
Ryan McRostieMay 6, 20201 minRise In Tenancies For Caves.A sharp rise in the occupation of caves has been attributed to the global pandemic of COVID-19. Leasing agents specialising in cave dwell...
Ryan McRostieMay 5, 20201 minRichard Branson Offers To Let Everyone Punch Him In The Face.In a stunning development Tuesday, Sir Richard Branson has offered to let everyone in the UK punch him in the face to save his embattled...